The Philippine Star
April 16, 2011
MANILA, Philippines - During my two-month stint as a Binibining Pilipinas candidate, I experienced things that I never thought I would, such as dancing repeatedly on national television and riding through EDSA seated on an open-top sports car wearing nothing but a bikini and a ginormous headdress. Looking back, it seemed like a never-ending whirl of hair and makeup, followed by more hair and makeup while teetering from one place to another in five-inch heels. By the end of it, not only did I gain a newfound set of mad makeup skillz (Solenn, you better watch yourself; just kidding — I totally worship you.), but also mad respect for beauty queens and candidates alike. I may not have won, but I didn’t lose anything either because I picked up quite a number of valuable lessons on my rocky road to the crown:
1. Walking like a beauty queen is not easy
In pageantry, there is a time-honored exercise for beauty queen-hopefuls to train their hips to sway more when they walk. It is called (don’t laugh) the duck walk. Why the unfortunate name? I have no idea, but my feet start cramping up at the mere mention of this probable form of medieval torture. Try wearing heels no lower than four inches, fold your arms behind your back and lunge as low as your thighs and glutes will allow you while simultaneously thrusting your hips from side to side. One end of the room to another constitutes a single round. Repeat for a minimum of 10 rounds to a maximum of 20, then die from sheer exhaustion.
2. Plastic surgery is surprisingly common among candidates
I’ll be the very first person to admit that getting my chest, uh, enhanced actually crossed my mind. However, after a visit to the surgeon’s office and getting the opportunity to play around with actual silicon implants (i.e. stuffing them into my bra), I decided to leave without buying anything because I’m terrified of scalpels.
It’s not that I have anything against it. Some of the candidates who underwent a couple of nips and tucks, the most common being rhinoplasties and breast augmentation, were totally open about it and definitely more confident about themselves after. While there were rumors brewing that some candidates went as far as liposuction or rib removal (I kid you not) just to achieve Venus Raj’s 22-inch waistline, they’re all probably just that: rumors.
3. Beauty pageant candidates are pretty much their own hair and makeup artists
Not all, but most of them, at least. Although Binibining Pilipinas had David’s Salon as its official sponsor for the hair and makeup of the candidates, nearly every candidate already knew how to expertly wield her own set of makeup and hair tools ranging from professional brands like Kryolan and Babyliss to department store steals, like James Cooper and Finesse. After all, in international pageants, all candidates are expected to know how to fix themselves, so it didn’t hurt to start now. In the words of Helena Rubinstein, “There are no ugly women, only lazy ones.”4. Candidates pack a serious amount of beauty booty
Surgery and makeup aren’t the only tools candidates resort to for image enhancement. From pricy investments like veneers and hair extensions to relatively affordable enhancements like false eyelashes, contact lens, Sally Hansen spray-on tans, Hollywood Tape or double-stick tape, which served the same purpose and stick-on silicone breasts (I proudly stuffed six of these into my swimsuit — three per boob — to make up for my not-so proudly endowed chest). Honorable mentions include Mighty Bond or electric tape for candidates who had problems with ears that stuck-out and Fanny Serrano bronzer for drawing on abs and emphasizing cleavage (yep, still on the boob issue). Of course not all candidates used all of these, but they were pretty common. With the sheer amount of products we had to use every day, most of us had to wheel around suitcases to and from Araneta Center every single day.5. The beauty queen diet
I’m quite happy to say that in the two months that I spent with my co-candidates, not one of them seemed to exhibit any kind of eating disorder. Quite the contrary because whenever food was brought into our holding area, nearly all of it was inhaled within a matter of minutes. Not the most queenly behaviour, I’ll admit, especially not when the food in question was comprised of pizza, ice cream, tacos and burritos. Yup, since the pageant sponsors were Pizza Hut, Dairy Queen and Taco Bell, they were regular items on our menu. So how to did we not turn into life-size bikini-clad blimps after ingesting all this delicious fare for two months? I’d like to think it was superhuman-control, but truth be told, the likely culprits were probably stress and the next item on my list. Well, we did sprinkle inordinate amounts of McCormick Cinammon powder (for appetite suppression) and Cayenne Pepper (to speed up metabolism) — not at the same time, mind you — on nearly everything we ingested. However, I’d like to think it was superhuman self-control, but truth be told, the likely culprits were probably stress and the next item on my list...
6. We candidates dance a lot more than I care to admit
I’m just wondering how Venus maintained her 22-inch waistline despite being faced with all that pizza (there were more, but had to be cropped out of the shot, obvs). I mean, she didn’t even touch her salad! Photo from pizzahut.com.ph Dancing. Everywhere. All the Time. Mostly in our bikinis. All this dancing was a little more painful on my part because I don’t exactly have good body coordination and with all that duck walking, I just couldn’t have danced all night. There was dancing during the opening of our talent competition in Ali Mall. Dancing at our official press presentation in Sofitel. Dancing at a cocktail event in ABS-CBN attended by guests of honor, Gabby Lopez and Charo Santos-Concio. Dancing during a TV guesting in noontime show Happy Yippe Yehey. And so on and so forth until I had no more shame left during the opening number for the coronation night where I shook my money-maker for all it was worth, much to the distress of the Filipino TV viewing public.
7. Candidates spend a lot of time talking (about) sh*t
In a room full of 40 females, there’s bound to be some nasty talk about each other, but what amused me most was our collective fixation with bowel movement. Since we regularly had pretty early call times, this messed with our regular um, programming, which was pretty frustrating. I can’t tell you how many times we complained about not being able to go or how often nearly all cubicles were occupied by candidates simultaneously trying to heed the call of nature. In fact, it wasn’t at all uncommon for us to be doing both activities at the same time. Hey, clean is beautiful!
8. Get ready for major, major intriga
Candidates were warned way ahead of time about how nasty beauty pageant-related forums could get and were advised to keep our noses out of them if we didn’t want to be negatively affected by the comments. As for rumors, gossip and intrigue circulating on these websites, these things can get pretty intense. It’s shocking how easily and freely people jump to conclusions about certain things without even bothering to check their facts first or even giving other people the benefit of the doubt, but then again, all this just comes with the territory. With that said, I’d like to give serious props to every artista who’s ever participated in a staring contest with Boy Abunda while clearing up an issue during their “The Buzz moment.”
During one of our shoots by the poolside at Sofitel, a man at the prime of his life, to put it mildly, was lurking about our set with a ginormous D-SLR hanging in front of his naked, hairy chest framed by his shamelessly unbuttoned polo. That alone, coupled with his cheesy billowy white pants, Charlie Sheen-esque shades and medyas and Birkenstock clad feet, should’ve sent warning signals to me. But no, I thought he was a member of the media. And so I politely chatted with him and only understood just what the exchange was about when he left and returned with a glass of water and plate full of fruits for me. For the remainder of the shoot, the director and the executive producer joked about the fruits having some sort of gayuma that would make me fall in love with my new “friend.” Gross, guys. Just. Gross.
10. Apparently by the end of it, the crown is nothing but a headache
Throughout the entire ordeal, several beauty queens like Venus Raj were on-hand to provide much-needed advice and guidance to the aspiring Binibinis. My favourite encounter with Raj was during the shoot for our primer in Republiq. Backstage, she enlisted the help of a hair stylist from David’s Salon to help her pin her crown on. In a pique of curiosity, I asked her if it was heavy, to which she replied in jest, “Oo! Ang sakit sa ulo!” In more ways than one, but hey, you know what they say: beauty is pain.
*** special thanks to: The Philipinne Star, Arthur Kho of pilipinasbeauties.com,pizzahut.com.ph and Cara Subijano for the photos.
